Where am I going?
Sep. 27th, 2005 01:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
So this is going to be a truly personal post here.
The subject is the ultimate question - Where am I going? What am I doing? Why do I make the choices I make? What are my goals? Are my priorities completely out-of-whack?
I turned 33 at the start of this month, and again found myself asking the same stupid questions I ALWAYS seem to be asking myself...and it was pointed out to me that maybe, just maybe, I am putting the wrong emphasis on the wrong things. My focus is not where is belongs...so I allow myself to be distracted, and then when I find myself in the same place, I ask the same questions, but am unwilling to admit that maybe, while I thought I had moved...in fact I have been stationary.
I know a number of people who have been grand dreamers...and made nothing much out of their lives. We make choices all the time...and some are better than others, but ALL have an effect on us.
So now I am asking myself - where am I going? What choices have I made that will take me to my ultimate desires?
There is one thing in particular I want, more than anything else. I want to be a writer. I want to go into Barnes and Noble, and see my books on the shelves. I want to be on a train, or a plane, and see someone reading MY novel...that is the career I want, that is the mark I want to leave on this world.
I have been writing fiction, mostly sci-fi and fantasy, since I was 9. I was prolific as a kid, and my imagination could hardly be quenched. I still have dozens of ideas in my head...just waiting to find a page...and a reader.
Most of you reading this know that my e mail address is at a unique domain. Its name comes from the stories I have been writing.
The Source Chronicles is the name of the series I have been working on since 1998. It is fantasy set in a world of my imagining, driven by a prophecy. As the prophecy splits into 4 parts, my story is planned as 4 books.
The first in the series, Seeker, is complete. The second, Finder, is also finished. The third, Harbinger, is well underway - but I haven't touched it in more than 2 years.
However, the reason Harbinger has gone untouched for so long is because I had Seeker professionally edited. My editor made a lot of notes of things that needed to be reworked, clarified, strengthened. On her first set of notes, I made a lot of changes. She looked it over again - and pointed out that I missed many of her overall notes about the text, and its strengths and weaknesses. Reluctantly, I looked it over AGAIN...and made even more changes.
She went over it again herself...and while I have done much to improve this story, it still has some glaring weaknesses. But I have learned a lot from the editing process, and now I can identify and repair those weaknesses. Sometimes it takes an addition, sometimes a deletion...and sometimes it takes a blank slate to make the text say what I really intend.
So now I stand in the middle of a round of editing...and I hit a slight block, as a critical juncture in the story demanded a blank slate reworking, to my mind. I have only worked on this for a few hours over the last month or two.
Meanwhile...I have submitted a query to an agent. I am waiting to hear back from her, in the hopes that she might represent this work (and I am looking to market it as Young Adult - that seems to be the hot market now, and Fantasy is working well within it). But apart from that...I have not been writing regularly.
The point of this lengthy post is - I want to be a writer, more than anything else in the world...but I am not writing with any frequency. Christopher Paolini, the 21 year old author of Eragon and now its sequel, Eldest, writes seven days a week, from breakfast to dinner. He is published, so he has that luxury - but I WANT to be published, and don't even devote an hour a day to my craft.
The question I began this with is Where am I going? The answer I want is - I am going to get my novels published, and I am going to be a career writer. Easier said than done, undoubtedly...but there are steps I can take to further this along.
You, readers of this post, are my witnesses. Please don't hesitate to harass me about this. I am going to list 5 things that I must do, to achieve my goal.
1. Write every day. I will begin by writing for at least an hour, every day. Period. No more excuses. It can be Seeker, it can be Finder, it can be another story - but I need to put at least 1 hour of work into my writing every day.
2. Finish editing Seeker. So let's say my prospective agent wants to read the manuscript? Gonna suck if it's not done. My goal is to have the editing completed by the end of October. Not a rush job...but a goal. And I think that, if I focus on it, I can make it.
3. Find an agent. If I get a rejection, I move on. Until someone decides that my story is worthwhile to represent. But I don't stop trying.
Now I know a ton about self-publishing...and while it can be a good way to do this, and there are a number of options for taking it that routh, I think that to make a real career of this, the career I desire, its not the right path for ME.
4. Read more. I don't read enough. And the more I read, the more ideas I get that can help MY writing. This is not plagiarism I am talking about...its a greater generalization. Every author has a unique voice, and puts things in his or her story that give you a sense of the time and place - and the means by which they do that can help ME find ways to do it, too.
5. Follow-through. You see the four items above this...the trick here is to actually DO them. I am talking the talk - it is time to walk the walk.
The question is Where am I going? The answer is - not around in the same circles, over and over and over. No more. Today I take back my compass, and I direct my own life. I have to stop letting the petty bullshit I allow myself to get caught up in dominate my existence. Only I can make this happen.
Thank you for being my witnesses.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 05:35 pm (UTC)Though, on a serious note, here's an interesting "About the Writing" series of questions asked of author Philip Pullman His Dark Materials - About the Writing .
There's some good stuff in there, maybe even some inspiration for a writer from a writer.
Has anyone read any of these books? I only recently heard about them, because I heard New Line Cinema was turning them into a movie, and there was a comparison drawn to their success with LoTR.
Was wondering if they were any good, and worth picking up? It sounds like they've got a bit of a following...
no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 06:17 pm (UTC)