What, you may ask, AM I doing, anyhow?

[fencerm2]

Several of you are aware of this, some are not, and some likely will not care.  However, I want to put the rumors to rest, with regards to the subject of this post.

Friday is my last day at the law firm.  I put in my 2 weeks notice last week.

Why?  Why would I give up a good paying, stable job?  Why walk away?

First...I need to again thank lumineaux  for getting me this job.  When I was in dire straights, when my finances were total crap, and my debt drowning me, she found me this job, and I was able to tread water once again.  Thanks, boss!

Certain circumstances, in addition to this job, have allowed me to clear my debts, so now I am doing perfectly fine.

Yup, this is the highest paying job I have ever held.  The hours aren't too bad.  The people are relatively decent. 

The commute is unpredictable, and almost never simple.  This city, well, sucks.  And I find myself often bored, and worse than that, I have found that certain aspects of this job do not sit well with my arguably non-mainstream moral code.  Does my work help anyone, improve the lives of anyone, provide a necessary service to in some way better the world - or am I mostly helping the rich stay rich? 

Turn your brain off and do the job.  I've heard that one.  Don't think about it, don't let it get to you, its just a job.

And that's the key.  It's just a job.  But 'just a job' is where I spend 2/3 of my waking hours.  Call me crazy, call me stupid, but is it really necessary that for the sake of earning a living, I should be less-than-content, even downright miserable, 5 days a week?

Over the year plus I have been here, it has grown steadily worse...nagging a little, annoying me some...then it began to outright bother me (I would read things going threw documents on cases that just did NOT sit well with me), and then it began to leave me feeling discontent.  NOW its beginning to effect my sleep - I don't think I've slept truly restfully in a few months.

I can cover my basic expenses with part-time work in an environment I am very familiar with and quite comfortable in.  Sure, anything outside of those I need to tap my savings for - but currently, this is less of a problem than it has been before, and likely will ever be again.

I want/need to write more.  I need more time to really make this happen.  And I need to decide if I am going to simply seek another job, but one that will better utilize my skills...or go back to school...or start my own business.

So I made a choice, and have chosen my mental health over my bank account.

I admit, this may be crazy.  This may not be my best idea...but my gut told me to get out, my gut tells me this is the right choice...and for once, I am going to trust my instincts...and move on.

So that, dear readers, is what it happening in my world.  Not gonna be unemployed...but I will no longer have this constantly nagging at me.

I have a lot of plans.  I have a lot of goals.  And I do not have anyone, really, that I am responsible for, apart from my cat.  So I made a difficult and probably somewhat controversial choice.  But my reason is sound...and I think that, as I go forward, this will prove to have been the right choice.

Comments

[kielbasa-007.livejournal.com]

Brave soul!
I wish you much luck in the writing dept. What are you going to do in between pages? DC (plug, plug) has a hard on for geeks that work in law offices. In fact there are several recruiters who just fill those positions.

[marasca.livejournal.com]

In fact there are all kinds of jobs in DC that will add to your good karma. Non-profits abound, and many probably pay more than you've been lead to believe.

Okay, granted I didn't like DC very much. It's not for everyone. But the people who love it there really love it.

In any case, bravo for following your instincts. They rarely lie.

You are SO BRAVE!

[chrystie69.livejournal.com]

I would love to be able to do that! I think you are doing the right thing!

I'd suggest you look into doing some freelance writing and if you want any resources for that contact me via email I'd be happy to help you. I'm just not the kind of person who can deal with the unpredictability of freelancing...it's the Taurus in me! :-) LOL

[alphasarah.livejournal.com]

More power to ya. I love it when my friends drop their stable lives to pursue their dreams. I admire you for making the tough choice.

[beckishadow.livejournal.com]

Good luck and congrats!

[oceanstorm-cmk.livejournal.com]

Awesome! Good luck, break a leg out there :)

[altariel-menel.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear you have found a better solution than having sleepless nights. I commend you for choosing the right thing over making money. I understand not wanting to stay in a crappy job just to keep money.

I second (or third) the notion that you should move down here where the cool people live. *ducks* Not that I meant there are no cool people up there.

Good for you!! *hugs*

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

It took me four and a half years to get to that point with my former employer. After the first few months, I wasn't sleeping right either - and I took to binge-eating sugary junk food simply to stay awake, and gained fifty pounds that I really did not need, and let my employment-related skills get way behind the times. Unlike you, I left when I did because I did have someone more to be responsible for - finding out I was pregnant made the final decision to leave and pursue my MPA degree full time much easier.

I still think it was one of the best and most important decisions I have ever made. I'm glad you were able to come to it faster than I was, and with less destruction to your sense of self - for the last year or so before I left, my husband was begging me to quit that job becuase HE couldn't stand what it was doing to me. If there's any other honorable way you can keep a roof overhead, then no paycheck is worth that, and well...psychiatric treatment is expensive. :P

You've made a very healthy decision, and I'm 100% supportive of it. *hugs*

[(Anonymous)]

Good luck!!!! Happiness is important...you only have one life to live and all that....cats aren't that expensive to feed anyhow, and I dont think hedgehogs are either;)


-Lissa

[ogedei.livejournal.com]

I definitely think you are doing the right thing. I have often felt unhappy about my own employment and as a result am trying very hard to establish my own business, but it has been tough sledding and I have not been able to quit my day job. With todays economy, I'd suggest giving school or part time work another try.

huh?

[rlg.livejournal.com]

Dude, be happy wherever you end up.