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My mind is cluttered.  I am finding it difficult to focus on anything lately, and this is extremely annoying.  I have done very little writing...dishes are stacked in my sink...I've been to the gym twice in 2 weeks...I have a hard time with any emotion beyond indifference...I am feeling very disconnected lately, and I haven't a clue what to make of it.

I don't normally post this sort of thing here...but I guess I am wondering if anyone else is feeling this.  Is there something in the air?  Or is it really just me?

I have started, erased, and restarted this post several times the past couple days.  Not sure what, if anything, I want to say. 

I am very much looking forward to my trip to Arizona, Estrella War and Sedona.  I usually feel much clearer afterwords.

Birka this weekend was both good...and just eh.  I enjoyed the fencing, seeing old friends, making some new friends, and getting to work as a herald during court (and had it been written out completely in front of me, I would have read off your whole name, [livejournal.com profile] artisticphoenix  - but can only remember it in part!) 

I wish I had felt less disconnected in other ways.

Maybe a night of truly restful sleep will do it.  How DO I do that?  That's the trick question...

Date: 2006-02-01 04:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marasca.livejournal.com
Could just be the seasonal chill, gray skies, dank, dreary weather. If that's it, I can see why Arizona would help. When I felt like that in Ithaca during the winter, I'd head for Aladdins for the fruit and yogurt bowl. Something about eating fresh pineapple, cantelope, and strawberries in February made spring seem much closer and the winter more barable.

Date: 2006-02-01 04:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belmikey.livejournal.com
I am actually feeling much the same way, but I have a number of specific things that I think are causing it. Some are good (but represent shifts in my life that are disarranging my thought patterns), some are less good.

Date: 2006-02-01 02:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracytris.livejournal.com
I'm feeling similar.

I think Estrella will just be good all around.

Date: 2006-02-01 02:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lissa510.livejournal.com
"My mind is cluttered....and I haven't a clue what to make of it."

Start using paper plates....honest! You wont kill the environment all by yourself, and it will save up time for you to focus on other things. Go through your life and what you do...figure our what is important for your happiness currently, and focus on that...get rid of the extra crap...simplify things where you can....if you simplify your life perhaps your mind will follow. Try to find something that will make you feel something other than indifferent. Maybe it has to be something new...a project, a good book, that you can focus on and get excited about...it could also be a seasonal ..so perhaps some better natural lighting and good food as someone else said would help.

"Not sure what, if anything, I want to say."
you said it...good for u...if posting this helps...vent some more.

"Maybe a night of truly restful sleep will do it. How DO I do that? That's the trick question..."

I dont know if some over the counter sleep stuff would work...but see what others think...When you manage to calm your mind or at least get it back to normal...the sleep things should hopefully settle itself...:)

my 2 cents:)

probably useless suggestions

Date: 2006-02-01 02:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rlg.livejournal.com
One thing that I used to use (and would again if I needed it) is melatonin. It's basicly a "reset" button for your sleep cycle. Buy it in as small a dose as possible, since if I recall correctly, upping the dosage doesn't make it any more effective.

All the standard warning labels apply, make sure you've allotted enough time to get the 8 hours sleep etc.

So far as the rest of the chaos goes, have you considered replacing any of your light bulbs with sunlamps? I've got at lest one friend with seasonal affective depression, and I know that when I had a row of sun-lights overhead, I felt a bit better.

Other than that ... focus on clearing one thing at a time, and let the rest slide. If you want to go to the gym, ... eat off paper plates for a week.

Date: 2006-02-01 03:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] splagxna.livejournal.com
i have been feeling that way for a while, as have a number of people around me. while various bits of life are coming together to be hugely stressful right now, i'm inclined to place primary blame on the weather.

Date: 2006-02-01 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chrystie69.livejournal.com
BTW you did a great job Heralding in Court :) You are the first Herald EVER to NOT butcher Skya's name! She was so happy about that!

I think the blahs are in the air, unfortunately I can't get bogged down it now because I have so much going on! which sucks cause I'd love to just veg for a bit...maybe in July I can veg out and relax again! :) Have fun at Estrella

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